saw a dude at the mall with a shirt that said I AM AFRAID OF WOMEN in impact font but he was walking with like 3 girls. king
“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.
you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.
i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.
Alfred: Injury report?
26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?
Alfred:
Some years down the road
Bruce: Injury report?
Tim: I left no DNA behind.
Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.
Jason: Haven’t died again.
Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.
Damian: I won.
Duke: I think I discovered a new power.
Steph: You’re not my dad.
Bruce:
Bruce:
Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?
For Bruce to deserve All Of Them he must have done some absolutely Wild stuff to Alfred
Alfred has it all documented in triplicate in case anyone wanted to confirm that
The other thing I have realized in my efforts today is that not only do Dracula and Mina have similar tastes in women, and men, they seem to have similar tastes in everything. Architecture. Trains. Everything. It's uncanny
Mina, languishing:
Mina has a seething hatred of Dracula for the absolute pettiest of reasons but she is being So Brave About It but then she reads the diary and is like OH THANK GOD we have to kill him.
This is definitely because of Lucy's murder and Jonathan's imprisonment and not because he bought the last model train set she was eyeing for her collection. Definitely.
Mina, firing new holes in Dracula: This is for Jonathan! -bang- This is for Lucy! -bang- And this is for the limited edition single run gold-trim Central Pacific 'Jupiter' UP No. 119 - American Type model!
Dracula, spitting blood: It rolls so smooth on the tracks. Not that you'd know.
Mina, eyes blazing, barrel to his head: Play with it in Hell. -bang-
heartbreaking:
girl has sooooooo many ambitions and ideas for projects but can only get 1.5 basic tasks done per day